Rights & Reconciliation: Dire Consequences
by A'Lehsen Paris
Summary: What if the message for Tom in "Hunters" hadn't been deleted after all?
1. Rights and Reconciliation

Title: Rights & Reconciliation: Dire Consequences   
Author: A'Lehsen Paris   
Email: alehsen_paris@yahoo.com   
Rated: PG for adult language   
Summary: What if the message for Tom in "Hunters" wasn't destroyed after all? What if a certain caring girlfriend hid it because she knew it would upset him? Here's what I think. Written in third person. It is set some time early in the sixth season.   
Archive: Yes, if you give me loads of complements and let me know what you're doing.   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and the crew. I'm just writing the story. The idea came from a rumor I heard years ago about Tom and B'Elanna breaking up. I decided that if they were going to, there was going to be a reason. 

Special Note: Well, if I'm going to be writing books in a few years, I should probably get some practice at this. I'd like to dedicate this to Kat and Lauren, who are my official muses. Thanks, you two! 

* * * * * 

Ensign Tom Paris sighed as he went through all of his files. There had to be a few that were worth deletion. He needed more room for a new holo- program, and to get that, some of his other files were going to have to go. 

No, not Sandrines...or the pirate program. He grinned to himself as he thought about that one. B'Elanna had actually enjoyed it, after she had gotten used to the skirts and the low necklines, which he had liked the most about her authentic costumes... 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a file he didn't recognize, but which had his name in it: _TorresAlphaParis_. Had B'Elanna created a program for them? If it was supposed to be a secret, he probably shouldn't read it. However, maybe she had meant for him to find it. Should he read it? He wasn't sure, but then his curiosity took over and he pressed the "read" button. 

When he saw the beginning of the file, the smile he had been wearing faded, to be replaced by an angry frown. Why had she done this to him? 

The file read: 

> To: Thomas Eugene Paris   
From: Admiral Owen Paris 
> 
> Thomas, 
> 
> I was surprised to learn that Kathryn made you a Lieutenant. I suppose she knew what she was doing... However, I'm not counting on that. She just felt sorry for you, I'm sure. 
> 
> I doubt that you have changed much. You are probably the same arrogant ass that I allowed to go to prison. I wish that I had let you stay there instead of finding you such a good position on Kathryn's ship. She always has had a soft spot, and I should have remembered that. 
> 
> You weren't good for anything four years ago. That can't have changed, even if you do have a prestigeous position on _Voyager_ now. Don't let it go to your head. When you get back to the Alpha Quadrant I'll make sure that you go straight back to New Zealand, where you belong. You won't get off so easily for your crimes. 
> 
> You have not earned my forgiveness, and you never will. 
> 
> Your mother, on the other hand, never resented you for the shame you brought us, so it should please you to know that I have informed her of your safety and health. She is pleased and sends her love, as do your sisters. I don't know why. 
> 
> Don't take this as a softening of my attitude towards you. I simply felt that it would be good for you to know how the people in your life feel. 

Tom stared at the message. _The message that B'Elanna deliberately hid from me_, he thought furiously. He couldn't believe that she would do this to him, even though the message from his father was the most awful thing he had ever read. He could have--would have handled it. 

Tom transferred the message to a padd and then stood up abruptly. He was in his quarters, and now he just wanted to rush to hers and demand an explanation. Her shift was over by now, so she should be home. 

Tom left his quarters and headed for the turbolift. "Deck 9," he said absently as he entered it. He was fuming. The thought kept running through his head: _why_ did she do this to me? 

By the time he reached B'Elanna's quarters, he was angrier than a Klingon could ever hope to be. He just tapped in the security code which she had given him more than a year ago and barged in. She was standing by the replicator, a cup of something that smelled like raktajino. She looked up when he came in, and from the look on her face she could tell that something was wrong. 

"Tom? What happened?" she asked, as if she was the most innocent person in the Delta Quadrant. 

* * * * * 

B'Elanna knew that something was definitely wrong with Tom when he rushed into her quarters. He had a furious expression on his face, and she wasn't sure that she imagined the betrayed look in his eyes. What could she possibly have done to make him so angry? Nothing, as far as she knew. So why was he standing there glaring at her? 

"What do you know about this, B'Elanna?" he practically spat at her. He shoved the padd he held into her hands. 

When B'Elanna looked down at it, she felt her face pale. He had found it! She'd thought that it was impossible, that it would never happen, but it had. He knew what she had done, and he hated her for it. 

She had to try to save the situation--and their relatoinship, even though she had a horrible feeling that it might be too late. "Tom, I'm sorry. It's just that, everyone else got such good news, and they were all so happy. I just didn't want your father to hurt you any more than he already had," she tried to explain. 

Tom cut her off with a sharp motion of his hand. "I don't want excuses, B'Elanna. I trusted you. Didn't you think that I could handle this? Did you think that I would fall apart?" he asked harshly. 

"I was trying to protect you!" she said. 

"I don't need your protection! Dammit, B'Elanna, I should have known about this! You let me have the hope that my father had forgiven me, and you knew he hadn't! You _knew_!" Tom yelled. His eyes flashed blue fire. 

"I know that! I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to feel as awful as I did back then. I wanted one of us to be happy!" she yelled back. 

"No, this was purely selfish! _You_ needed someone to lean on, someone who didn't have to worry about anything else. _You_ needed to be cheered up. _You_ needed to be distracted. Hell, it was all about _you_! I never even figured into your little equation, or you wouldn't have kept this from me; you would have trusted me to handle it!" he shouted. 

B'Elanna felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. He was right, she had been thinking about her needs, but she had wanted also to protect him from the knowledge that his father hated him! 

"Tom, we can work this out, please--" she began. 

"No, B'Elanna, we can't. I can never trust you again. And I will never forgive you," Tom said coldly. He turned and started for the door. 

"You're just like your father,then, Tom Paris: stubborn and stupid! And you can both rot in Hell together!" B'Elanna shouted after him. 

Tom didn't look back. He just kept going, until the door swished shut behind him. 

B'Elanna stared after him. Her heart felt as if it had broken into a thousand pieces. There was no way she could fix this. She had ruined the most precious thing in her life, her relationship with Tom. There was nothing left for her. 

A single tear slipped down her cheek as she sat down on her couch, still staring at the door. It was all over. 

To be continued..... 

  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Title: Rights & Reconciliation: Unexpected   
Author: A'Lehsen Paris   
Rated: PG for adult language   
Summary: The sequel to "Dire Consequences", set a day after. There's briefing, and there's lots of tension thanks to the break-up. The rest of the crew are very confused by this, it's obvious something is wrong. Oh, and a very important discovery is made by B'Elanna.   
Archive: Yes, but please let me know. And complement my writing. That always helps.   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and the crew. I'm just writing the story. Of course, the idea did come from some recent rumor, and my friend Kat. So, if the rumor comes true (which I most sincerely hope it does NOT), I'd like to say that this is my version. 

Special Note: Again, dedicated to my muses. All of this is possible thanks to you! :o) 

* * * * * 

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres sighed as she made her way across the Bridge. She was late for this morning's briefing. She'd had so much trouble getting to sleep that, once she had finally dozed off, she had slept right through her alarm. As a result, she hadn't been able to eat any breakfast, and she still was a minute or so late. This just was not her day. 

The rest of the crew gave her odd glances as she took the only seat left around the horse-shoe shaped table, between Harry and Chakotay. So, Tom had somehow managed that. It made sense that he also was the only one _not_ looking at her. 

B'Elanna knew that she looked terrible. She didn't really care, either. She felt so unhappy... 

Janeway cleared her throat. A worried expression clouded her face, but she didn't mention B'Elanna's tardiness. "Now that everyone is here, let's get started," she said quietly. 

B'Elanna sat through the boring security and communications reports. She occupied herself by staring at her hands folded on the table in front of her. This helped her to resist looking up at Tom, who sat across from her. To pass the time, she began going over quantum formulae, normal pro- cedure during a core breach, _anything_ to keep her from thinking about the man who had once loved her. 

"B'Elanna?" Janeway's voice called her back to reality. 

B'Elanna looked at her captain. "Yes?" 

"The engineering report, Lieutenant," Janeway said. The worried look intensified. B'Elanna knew it was because she hadn't acted like this in a long time. She just couldn't help herself. 

"Sorry, Captain. Engines are at maximum power, only minor repairs to the EPS conduit on Deck 3 last night, and two gel packs on Deck 5 were re- placed after burning out in a freak accident," B'Elanna said in a flat, expressionless voice. She knew that that would tell her fellow officers more than anything else that something _serious_ was wrong. She was always enthusiastic about Engineering, no matter what else was going on in her life. 

B'Elanna sat through the rest of the meeting the same way she had through the beginning. She tried her damnedest to ignore Tom's voice as he gave the CONN report, but it was so hard. She had always considered his voice as one of his biggest attractions. It had so many different inflections, it was so smooth and almost always sounded light and cheerful. 

Not this time. Tom sounded just as expressionless as she had. Good. Let him suffer the way she was. He deserved to. His overreaction to her keeping that message secret... It had proved that he didn't really love her as much as she had hoped. He had never said the words to her, after all. She had just been deluding herself. 

Finally, the briefing was over. B'Elanna had hoped that she would make a clean escape without any questions asked, but no such luck. 

"Lieutenant Torres, may I see you for a moment?" Janeway asked just as she reached the door and her ticket away from anxious friends. 

B'Elanna turned back. "Yes?" she asked. 

Once everyone else was gone, Janeway said, "I'm concerned, B'Elanna. Your behavior today was...well, I'm not sure how to describe it. What's wrong?" 

B'Elanna shook her head. "It's nothing, Captain, just a few late nights and double shifts that I didn't have to take catching up to me. I'll try to get more sleep tonight," she promised. Although I doubt I can, she added silently. 

"B'Elanna, if anything has happened, anything that I can help you with...." Janeway persisted. She touched B'Elanna's arm and looked into her eyes. B'Elanna turned away, afraid for the Captain's sake of what she would find there. 

"I really am fine, Captain. I should go now. We have a lot to do in Engineering today," B'Elanna said. Well, that wasn't the whole truth. There was a drill she had been planning on giving, but now she wasn't sure that she wanted to spend the energy it would take. 

"Is it anything that Carey can't handle?" Janeway asked. 

B'Elanna thought about that. "No, I don't think so..." she said warily. 

"Then you are going back to your quarters to get some rest," Janeway said firmly. When B'Elanna began to protest, she held up a hand. "That's an order, Lieutenant. If I have to I'll get the Doctor to examine you and give you an _official_ medical leave. You can't do this to yourself! This ship needs you in top shape!" 

B'Elanna hung her head for a moment. She knew that. Besides, she didn't feel like a trip to Sickbay. "Yes, Captain," she said. 

"Good. I expect you to go straight to your quarters, B'Elanna. Dis- missed," Janeway said. She didn't look reassured, but at least she hadn't pressed the issue about what was bothering B'Elanna. 

B'Elanna left. She stopped in the Mess Hall to get something to eat in her quarters. Word must have traveled quickly, because everyone stared at her as she walked over to Neelix. 

"Neelix, I missed breakfast. Do you have anything to eat around here? That I can take with me?" she asked him. 

Neelix looked at her, and his odd gold eyes showed that he was distressed by what he saw. Did she really look that bad? 

"Of course, B'Elanna. Banana pancakes?" he asked. 

"If you could make them quickly, yes. I've been ordered to get some rec time by the Captain," she tried to joke. It came out very weak. 

Neelix chuckled anyway. "I understand," he said as he went into his cooking area. Neelix had grown rather good at making her favorite breakfast food, almost as good as her grandmother had been. 

B'Elanna didn't look around as he worked busily. She could feel the eyes on her, and could nearly read the minds behind them. They were all speculating on what could have happened. 

Neelix handed her a container with five banana pancakes and a fork in it. She thanked him and left as quickly as she could. The stares were be- ginning to annoy her. She supposed that annoyance was better than the in- different mood she had been in for the last ten hours, ever since...but she wouldn't think about that now. 

B'Elanna thought she would make it to her quarters without running into anyone else, but she was wrong. Harry was lounging against the wall across from her door, and he didn't look happy. 

As soon as he saw her, Harry pointed to her door, an unspoken command to get in there so that they could talk. B'Elanna sighed and didn't argue with him. 

She keyed in her code and the door opened. She said over her shoulder, "You're going have to talk while I eat, Harry. I'm starving." 

"At least that's something normal. B'Elanna, what the hell's going on?" Harry asked her as she sat down at her table. He sat across from her. 

"What makes you think anything's wrong, Harry?" she tried to ask as casually as possible. This was Harry, one of her best friends, and he wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, she knew. He could be damned persistant when he wanted to be, and it looked like he wanted to be. B'Elanna took a big bite of her pancakes to stall the conversation a little. 

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you and Tom both look like you just rose from the dead this morning had something to do with it" Harry said sarcastically. 

B'Elanna took a second large bite and chewed it slowly. What could she tell Harry, and how? 

Once she had swallowed, she said as calmly as possible, "Tom and I are no longer seeing one another." 

Harry's dark eyes got wide. "WHAT?" he yelled. 

B'Elanna winced. She had been afraid that Harry would get upset. She was having a hard time controlling her own reaction, depression. She really didn't need to have to worry about Harry, too, and she knew she would any- way. 

"B'Elanna, why? What happened?" Harry asked. He looked so confused. 

B'Elanna sighed. She supposed that if she didn't confess then Harry would just go to Tom and nag him to death until he found out. "Remeber when we were getting messages from the Alpha Quadrant a couple of years ago? I said that Tom's message didn't make it," she began. She grimaced, thinking about how dumb she'd been. "I lied. It was--awful, Harry. Owen Paris was so cruel, and I--I--just couldn't stand to see Tom get hurt." 

She was quiet for a few minutes, staring at Harry with anguished eyes. "I don't know why, but I saved it. And Tom found it last night, somehow. He was so angry with me....and he was right to be. I should have shown it to him, even if it would have hurt. He deserved that much," she said softly. She closed her eyes as she tried to close out the painful memory. 

Harry got up and came around the table to squat beside her chair. "I understand, B'Elanna, I really do. I know that if I had been the one going through those messages, I probably would have done the same. Did you apologize?" he asked as he slipped an arm around her shoulders. 

B'Elanna leaned into him, thankful for his support, physical and other- wise. "Yes, I tried. He just wouldn't listen. He was furious. I've never seen Tom like that before..." she let herself trail off as she tried to over- come the tears welling up inside. 

Harry sighed deeply. "Tom can be pretty pig-headed. Give him a few days, okay? He'll come to his senses," he assured her. 

"I don't think so, Harry. I think I ruined it all," she said with great resignation. 

Harry shook his head. "I don't think so. Give him some time. Promise?" 

B'Elanna smiled weakly at him. "Ever the optimist, aren't you, Harry? All right, I'll try to be understanding and patient," she said. 

Harry smiled back at her. "Good. Now, my shift starts in ten minutes, so I should go. Are you going to be okay?" he asked. 

B'Elanna nodded. "Yeah. Get on out of here," she ordered him. 

Harry stood up. "Try to get some sleep, B'Elanna," he said as he headed for the door. 

"I will. Thanks, Harry," she said, almost shyly. 

Harry flashed her another smile. "Anytime." 

B'Elanna turned back to her pancakes. They were a little cool, but she devoured them anyway. After she was done, she set her plate in the replicator and watched as it disappeared. Those atoms would probably make someone else's meal later. Such facts usually fascinated her, but now they seemed so common- place and uninteresting. 

She went and laid on her bed, not even bothering to undress or even slip under the blankets. She doubted she'd even get any sleep, but she had to try. She knew that she couldn't keep going on like that. 

The first thing B'Elanna noticed when she woke up was how awful she felt. Her stomach ached, and without even thinking about it she knew that if she didn't get to the bathroom _now_ then she'd vomit on her bedroom floor. 

B'Elanna barely made it, and then her stomach started casting out the pancakes she had enjoyed only a few hours before. She felt helpless as she emptied her breakfast into the toilet. Why was this happening? It was the only thought in her head as she wretched violently. 

Finally, it was over, and B'Elanna leaned back against the wall. What was wrong with her? It couldn't be the stress over her break-up with Tom. Awful as that was, she had experienced worse, and for longer, a year ago when she'd been so depressed after hearing of all the Maquis deaths...So what was it? 

A thought came to her, and she almost dismissed it as impossible. However, her experience as an engineer said not to ignore anything as being "impossible". 

B'Elanna stood up on legs that felt like rubber and made her way into the front room. She picked up her tricorder, laying on a chair where she had carelessly tossed it after her shift last night. With shaking hands, B'Elanna ran it over herself. Of course, it could only give basic information on humanoid bodies, but it would probably be able to pick up any--anomalies. 

It did. B'Elanna nearly sobbed when she looked at the readouts. There was no denying it. She was _pregnant_! 

B'Elanna lowered herself onto the couch. She felt weak, almost dizzy. How could this have happened? She asked herself this four or five times until it actually hit her, all of the reprecussions of this small life that was beginning inside her. 

She wouldn't be able to hide it forever. Klingon women had a slightly shorter gestation period, and they tended to show earlier than Human women. The whole ship would know in about two and a half months, because, according to the tricorder, she had conceived about a month ago. That was just an estimate, though. Right now, she didn't dare go to the Doctor to find out exactly when her child would be born, because Tom would find out if she did. 

And the baby would be born. The mere thought of destroying the precious life inside her made her grimace in revulsion. No, this child had been created in love, even if its father no longer loved her. She would keep it and raise it. 

B'Elanna suddenly felt much more tired. She curled up on the couch, determined to forget about the trouble this would cause. Instead, she concentrated on the joy she felt over her baby. And that is why, a few minutes later, she fell asleep with a small smile on her face, one hand covering the spot where life was beginning to grow inside of her, as if she could protect it from the world with that one gesture. 

To be continued.... 

  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

Title: Rights & Reconciliation: Deliberations   
Author: A'Lehsen Paris   
Email: alehsen_paris@yahoo.com   
Rated: PG for adult language   
Summary: Set a couple of weeks after "Unexpected Consequences". B'Elanna is unsure of how to tell anyone of her pregnancy, or even if she wants to at this time. Harry tries to talk to her about fixing things up with Tom, but by now she's as mad as Tom and won't listen. Chakotay also approaches B'Elanna, to see if her behavior was a relapse into her former depression (the episode "Extreme Risk"), but since she is acting normally again he is reassured. B'Elanna makes a few log entries, and we see how she reacts to the possibility of a reconcilliation with Tom. This has lots of twists and turns, and since we are seeing it from B'Elanna's POV, it is hard to remember who really started all of this.   
Archive: Yes, if you give me lots of complements and let me know about it.   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and the crew. I'm just writing the story. None of the characters are mine, so I'd just like to say that I'm not trying to infringe on any rights. 

* * * * * 

"Begin personal log," B'Elanna Torres said as she sat down on her bed. She rubbed her neck and sighed. "Today is day number 49 of pregnancy. I still get nauseous when I wake up, but it hasn't really been too bad for a few days. I can't wait to feel the baby move. That's what seems to keep me going when I get so miserable that I feel like I could scream." 

B'Elanna got up and went into her living room. She walked over to the replicator. "Tea, herbal mix number 23," she ordered. She picked up the cup that appeared and took a sip. She grimaced and resumed her log. 

"Gods, this tastes awful. But the text that I was reading last night says that it's good for relaxing an expectant mother, and it won't hurt Baby either. I still have to pick out a name, I suppose. I just don't want to find the perfect name for a girl, and find out that I'm carrying a boy, or vice versa. I wish I could go to Sickbay and just find out, but I'm not ready to advertise my condition to the ship right now. I especially don't want one person to know: Tom. Somehow, even knowing how much he resents me, I long to have him here beside me, experiencing the joys--and the pains of having this child. Our child." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she made this confession. 

B'Elanna placed a hand over her stomach. "Most of all, I want this child to have two parents who love each other. I grew up without my father, and I don't want to put my child through that kind of pain," she said. That old hurt was in her voice, as she reflected on her childhood. 

Then her voice hardened. "But even though I know what it was like, I'm not sure Tom even deserves the chance. Hell, he couldn't even handle it when I made one mistake. How would he react to a child? Children make so many mistakes when growing up--I know I did. If his reaction to what I did is any indication of what his attitude would be, maybe this was for the best. I don't want my child to turn out like him, so critical and unbending. It's his father's fault, of course. I can see that plain as day," B'Elanna said angrily. "Maybe living with that kind of thing for a long time makes you like that. I don't know, but the more I think about it, the more I think that he wouldn't have made the best father in the world. He's so commitment- shy, so damned introspective." 

B'Elanna glared out at the stars streaking by. Just looking out at them made her think of the man who was flying the ship right then, and thinking about him made her angry. How dare he do this to her? How dare he break up with her and leave her alone to deal with this pregnancy? HOW DARE HE? 

B'Elanna hadn't been aware that she was speaking these thoughts aloud until she shouted the last. Suddenly, she felt so weary. 

"End log," she whispered dispiritedly. She finished her cooling tea in two gulps and then walked back into her bedroom. She got out of her uniform and slipped into the first nightgown her hand encountered. She got into bed and said quietly, "Lights out." 

She wasn't able to sleep right away. Instead, she tossed and turned for at least an hour, unable to find a comfortable position. Unhappily, she wished for Tom's strong arms holding her close, knowing that she only slept well when he was there with her. 

* * * * * 

B'Elanna spent the next day rushing from one minor catastrophe to another. She barely had time for the large lunch that she was becoming accostumed to because of an EPS conduit that suddenly blew on Deck 4. The second half of her shift was occupied by a drill where her staff didn't seem to be able to do anything to her satisfaction. She made them repeat the drill five times, and she still was unhappy by the time her shift was over. Knowing that she was making them as miserable as she was, B'Elanna headed for the Mess Hall, hoping that food would make her feel better. 

B'Elanna really wasn't paying much attention to who was in the Mess Hall when she entered. She went over to Neelix and said, "Do you have any leola- root casserole, Neelix?" She had a sudden craving for it, and she regretfully put it down to her pregnancy. 

Neelix raised his eyebrows. He was obviously surprised by B'Elanna's request, but she wasn't going to try to explain herself. She simply waited for him to say whether or not he had any left. 

"Of--of course, B'Elanna. Just a moment," Neelix stammered. B'Elanna almost smiled over the little alien's astonishment. 

She accepted the plate he gave her. Then she went to the replicator and ordered another cup of herbal tea. She sat down in a corner table with her back to the rest of the room and gave her food her full concentration. The casserole was delicious, nothing like she remembered. It had such a--fluffy texture, and she would have sworn that it tasted sweeter than chocolate. 

Harry slid into the seat across from her. "I've never seen you enjoy Neelix's leola-root casserole so much. And is that tea?" he asked with a noticeably artificial grin. 

B'Elanna raised her eyebrows. "I'm eating this because I want to. And driking tea is very relaxing. You should try it. Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" she asked. She took a sip of tea. It wasn't quite so bad as the last one. She made a mental note to request number 55 from then on. 

Harry's laugh was equally artificial. "I just wanted to come and talk to my friend. Is that a crime?" he asked. 

B'Elanna glanced around to make sure that they couldn't be overheard. When she did, she noticed Tom sitting across the room, glaring at them. 

"Well, somebody sure thinks it is. What were you saying to him, Harry? Were trying to make him see reason? Because I can tell you now that pigs are notorious for being hardheaded," she said coolly, turning back to her friend. 

Harry winced. "B'Elanna, he's just hurting. Give him a chance," he said in a pleading tone. 

B'Elanna laughed harshly. "Harry, I've decided that two can play at this game. He doesn't want to give it another try, and so I don't either. Leave it alone, Harry. There's nothing you can do now. One of my teachers on Kessick had a saying that I think applies to this--situation. 'Let sleeping dogs lie.'" 

Harry shook his head. "I don't understand you two. You were so much in love just a few weeks ago, and now you can't even be in the same room without the temperature dropping at least ten degrees," he said dejectedly. 

B'Elanna sighed. "Harry, I'm going to repeat this only once. There is nothing you can do. And there's nothing I want you to do," she told him with an intensity that surprised even her. 

Harry stared into her eyes for several moments, as if testing her sincerity. She let him see her indifference, her strength of will, and she tried to hide the vulnerable, hurting part of her. 

Finally, Harry looked away. "All right, B'Elanna. If that's the way you want it, I won't try to interfere anymore," he said bitterly. 

B'Elanna placed her hand over his. "Don't do that, Harry. I'm not angry with you. You're my best friend, you always have been and you always will be. I just don't need you to attempt to patch up this broken relationship. I don't think anything can, and I'm pretty sure now that I don't even want to try," she tried to explain herself. 

"I understand. You want to keep yourself apart, like you used to. You want to pretend like everything's all right. It isn't. And if you two don't want to fix it, I won't try to help, either," he told her. 

B'Elanna felt as if he had slapped her. She must have shown it, too, because Harry's expression softened and he turned his hand in hers to squeeze it affectionately. "Just ignore me. And get some sleep. You still look like hell, and it doesn't look like you've gained a pound, even though lately you seem determined to eat until even Neelix is in awe of you," he said. She was amused to note that his tone was that of a big brother, even though he was at least two years younger than she was. 

"Yes, sir. You have night shift again, don't you? You always get into this commanding mood when you get to sit in the big chair," she teased. 

Harry nodded. "In fact, if I don't go I'll be late. Bye," he said. 

B'Elanna smiled at him. "Bye," she said as he stood up. Harry squeezed her shoulder as he walked by. 

B'Elanna turned her attention back to her meal. It was done in minutes, and after she downed the rest of her tea she took the plate, cup and fork to the recycler. 

She turned around to find Tom right behind her. She fell back on years of experience at hiding her emotions so that she could hide the shock and pain that being so close to him so suddenly brought on. She let the old mask of indifference fall into place. 

"Ensign Paris," she said as coldly as she could manage. 

"Lieutenant," he said. 

B'Elanna walked around him, struggling not to hurry. She wanted to seem calm and in control. It was so hard, but she made it to the door without breaking down. 

There was a pair of ensigns heading toward her down the hall, so she didn't dare to loose the fragile control until she got to the turbolift. She leaned against the turbolift walls and tried to keep her composure, tried to keep the tears that had suddenly sprang up from overflowing by squeezing her eyes closed tightly. "Deck nine," she said around the lump in her throat. 

She gasped when the 'lift doors opened, and surrepitiously wiped at her watery eyes. She almost gasped again when she saw Chakotay staring at her in consternation. 

"B'Elanna, if you don't tell me what's going on _now_, I'm going to order you to," he said in concern. 

B'Elanna laughed a little at that. "That sounded like an order to me, Chakotay," she said. 

Chakotay smiled slightly. "Whatever it takes to get you to talk. I'm very worried about you, B'Elanna. You haven't acted like this in a long time," he said seriously. 

"You mean when I nearly killed myself from depression?" she asked bluntly. 

"Well, yes. Something has happened, and the whole ship has noticed it. The gossip started weeks ago, and it's been getting worse. I want to help you, but I can't do that unless you tell me what's going on," he said. 

B'Elanna glanced down the toes of her black, regulation shoes and tried to find the words to explain what had happened to Chakotay. He had been her mentor and friend for so many years. He had been one of the first to warn her away from having anything to do with Tom, and she hadn't listened. As a result, she was alone, hurting, and pregnant, although she wasn't going to let anyone know about that for a while. It was her little secret, and it was much better that way, at least for now. 

Finally, she looked up into Chakotay's dark, caring eyes. She smiled a small, unhappy smile. "It's a long story, Chakotay. Come to my quarters, and I'll try to explain it all. This is too much of a public place to tell you everything," she said. She knew that she sounded almost completely spent. 

Chakotay nodded. "All right," he said in agreement. 

They got off at B'Elanna's deck. Her quarters were a few corridors away, and Chakotay hurried her along. He was clearly anxious to find out what was wrong with her. 

She keyed in her new code, the one she'd made after the break up. It still seemed so strange, knowing that Tom would no longer get into her quarters before her, to surprise her with a candlelight dinner or a night of lovemaking. 

B'Elanna pushed those memories away. They no longer caused her pleasure, only pain. Sometimes, she wondered how she could live on this ship for the rest of her life, with little reminders of Tom everywhere she went. 

Chakotay followed her in. She knew that he was taking in the mess that she had allowed her quarters to become. Dirty uniforms were piled in the corner of her couch, and a towel was draped across one chair. She had for- otten to recycle that morning's cup of tea, and the plate that had held her croissant lay beside it. Padds were scattered across the table, mixed with a brush and another towel. 

"Sorry about the mess," she tried to say nonchalantly. "I've been so busy lately that I've barely spent any time here except to sleep," she lied. Cleaning just hadn't seen worth the effort whenever she got home. Instead, she'd made her daily log and gone to sleep. Despite Harry's earlier comment, she had made an effort to be sure to get as much rest as possible since she had learned of her condition. 

B'Elanna cleared the uniforms off the couch and motioned for Chakotay to sit down. She dropped the clothes into the laundry chute and turned back to see Chakotay staring at her. "What?" she asked as she sat down on the couch, too. 

Chakotay shrugged. "For as long as I've known you, I've never seen you being so sloppy. You were always the cleanest rebel I'd ever seen," he said. They smiled at each other, because they both remembered how messy the Maquis had been. 

"Now, tell me everything, B'Elanna," Chakotay said in an abrupt change of mood. 

B'Elanna nodded. Slowly, hesitantly, she confessed to her friend and mentor everything, except her pregnancy, of course. Chakotay listened with an impartial expression on his face, which B'Elanna was glad for. Somehow that made it easier for her to tell him how stupid she had been. 

When she was finished, Chakotay shook his head. "It was a dumb thing to do, B'Elanna. I'm not denying that," he said. She could see the disappointment in his eyes, and felt even more ashamed of herself. Then Chakotay continued, "Tom made some bad judgement calls, too, though. He overreacted, and he should have realized that after a night or two of thought. I don't think he has let himself think; he's been like a sleepwalker these last few weeks." 

It was B'Elanna's turn to shrug. "He made his decisions, and I've made mine. Promise me that you won't do anything about this. It's between Tom and me, no one else," she said through narrowed eyes. She didn't need another Harry running around trying to "solve" all of her problems. 

Chakotay looked at her for a minute, as if trying to decide how to answer. Finally, he said reluctantly, "Fine. Just don't go into another depression on me, okay?" 

"No chance of that this time," she said. She smiled slightly, thinking of the tiny life inside her. 

Chakotay seemed confused by the smile, but at least he accepted her word. 

"If you wouldn't mind, Chakotay, I could use some sleep," she said pointedly. 

Chakotay took the hint. "Sure. Be sure to be on time for the briefing tomorrow," he told her as he left. 

"Yes, sir," she answered facetiously. They exchanged a smile before the door shut. 

B'Elanna's smile faded after a few moments. She sighed and went into the bathroom. She could use a relaxing sonic shower right about then. 

Her mind wandered as the waves of sound flowed over her skin, refreshing her after the long day in engineering. She glanced down and wondered what her body would look like in a few months, swollen with Tom's child. I'll look ridiculous, that's how I'll look, she thought to herself. But she wouldn't regret a minute of it, this closeness that she already felt toward her baby. 

B'Elanna stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself up in a towel. She took her time picking out what to where to bed. Once she was snugly under the covers, she began her log. 

"Today Chakotay finally asked me about the way I've been acting recently. I've been expecting it, in a way. It was so hard to tell him about what I had done, and it was even worse talking about the fight. He looked so dis- appointed in me. I feel as if I failed him," she said softly. 

She decided to change the subject. "I think I'll feel the Baby move any day now. That's what all the books I've been reading say. The third month's one of the most common, and since I'll have a shorter gestation period, I'll feel it sooner." She paused, then voiced the inner fear, the one that had been bothering her for a week or so. "I want to go see the Doctor, to make sure that the baby's okay. I just don't want Tom to know yet. I have no clue how he'll react when he finally does find out, but I do know that I want to postpone that for as long as possible." 

She was silent for a minute or two, considering her options. "I'll just have to check with the computer before I go. I'll go tomorrow. And I'm sure I can get the Doctor to keep quiet, at least for a while. He really insists on patient confidentiality. And I know how to make his program 'forget', if it comes to that. I've done it once, and for something this important I can do it again," she said with determination. 

This decided, she ended her log and settled back against the pillows. For once, she fell into sleep quickly. Her sleep was undisturbed by bad dreams, too. 

* * * * * 

After her shift the next day, B'Elanna went straight to her quarters. Once there, she instructed the computer, "Computer, locate Ensign Paris." 

"Ensign Paris is on the Bridge," the computer replied promptly. 

"When does his next shift in Sickbay begin?" she asked. 

"Ensign Paris to report to Sickbay at 0800 hours." 

Two shifts away! So luck was with her that day. B'Elanna made her way to Sickbay quickly. Thankfully, no one else was there when she entered. The Doctor was sitting behind his desk reading. 

"Doctor?" she called out to get his attention. 

The Doctor looked up and frowned. "B'Elanna, what's wrong?" he asked. He stood up and came out of his office briskly. 

"No, nothing's wrong. I just need a check-up," she said with a smile. 

"A check-up? Now I know you aren't feeling well!" the Doctor said in astonishment. He led her to a biobed, picking up a medical tricorder on the way. 

"I'm not sick, Doctor. I'm pregnant," she announced. 

The Doctor's jaw dropped. "You're _what_?" he asked as he began to scan her with the tricorder. 

"I'm almost two months pregnant," she said matter-of-factly. 

The Doctor's eyebrows rose evev higher as his tricorder confirmed her diagnosis. "How long have you known?" he asked her. His tone suggested that he wouldn't be happy if she lied to him, so she didn't. 

"A few weeks. Just after--" she stopped, unsure if Tom had already told the Doctor. 

"After?" the Doctor asked. 

"After Tom and I stopped seeing each other," she said quietly. She looked down at her hands folded in her lap. 

"You and Tom broke up?" the Doctor asked. "Is that why you two have been acting so strangely?" 

"That's why I've been acting like I have been. I don't know about him. He's the one that broke it off," she told him. 

"Why?" 

"It's a long story. Let's just say that he didn't like the fact that I kept one secret from him," she said unhappily. 

The Doctor shook his head. "I never could figure either of you out. You love each other so much, and yet you're determined to drive each other crazy," he said. "I'm assuming that you don't want me to tell him about the baby," he continued. 

"No. Don't tell anyone, Doc. I'll let the news out when I'm ready. I-- I--just want to keep it a secret for a little while longer. Is the baby healthy?" she asked. 

"I'll have to run some tests. There's always a risk with hybrid children," he told her. 

B'Elanna nodded. "I understand. Can you do the test now?" she asked. 

"Yes. It should take me a day working alone to get the full results," The Doctor said as he went over to pick up a the necessary tools. "Do you want to know the sex of the child?" he asked as he began to take samples. 

"It would help. I want to pick out a name right away, so I can get used to saying it," she said shyly. It seemed kind of silly to admit it. 

"Many cultures believe that babies begin to hear the voices of others in the womb. It certainly won't hurt to talk to your child as much as you want," the Doctor informed her. "There, all done. Have you eaten yet?" 

"No," she said. 

"Wait a moment, and I'll give you a list of the nutrients you'll be needing to keep yourself and your baby healthy," the Doctor said. 

B'Elanna stood up as he went into his office. He tapped something into his computer console, waited a few moments, then transferred the information to a padd. 

He came back and handed the padd to B'Elanna. "Make sure you get all of these every day. Give this to Neelix, say I've put you on a diet to try and help you keep fit. He probably won't ask any questions," he instructed her. 

B'Elanna took the padd and sighed. "I never have liked diets," she said. "But I'll follow it," she quickly added when the Doctor started to frown. 

"Be sure that you do," he said. He turned away, then added, "I won't tell anyone, B'Elanna. You can when you're ready. But don't wait too long, because you'll be showing soon." 

B'Elanna smiled at his back. She was glad she wouldn't have to make him forget about this visit. She could use a friend who knew about her little secret. "I'll come by tomorrow for those results, if you don't mind," she said. 

"Of course not," he replied. 

B'Elanna left quietly. She went to the Mess Hall. For once, it was practically empty. Neelix was working on something--it smelled sweet, so it was probably some kind of elaborate dessert. She surprised herself by thinking longingly of the last time he had made cake. It was a minor celebration, one to take away some of the tension after the Equinox incident. After that celebration, she and Tom had... 

Once again, B'Elanna forced away memories that had the power to make her heart ache with sadness. She forced a calm expression on her face as she called out, "Neelix? I missed dinner, and I was wondering if there was anything left." 

Neelix popped around the corner and smiled. "Of course, B'Elanna. I have some leola-root casserole left, if you want it," he answered hesitantly. 

"Only if it has all of this," she said as she handed him the padd. "The Doctor has me on a diet to make me less fatigued," she told him. 

"Is that where you were?" Neelix asked. He frowned at the list and began to rummage through his stores. 

"Yes. I've been working so hard, and I haven't been sleeping well lately. So I went to the Doctor to see if there was anything I could take to help," she said half-truthfully. 

"Smart of you. Some people just can't realize their limits. I'm surprised the Doctor hasn't ordered Tom to stick to a similar diet. He looks as worn as you say you feel," Neelix commented as he began to add certain vegetables to the casserole. 

"What Tom decides to do is his own business," B'Elanna said stiffly. 

Neelix handed her the tray, and a cup of some kind of fruit juice. He looked at her with unusually serious eyes. "Something has happened between you and Tom, hasn't it?" he asked. 

B'Elanna nodded slowly. "Yes. We aren't going to be dating anymore," she said. She took her meal to the nearest table and sat down. Neelix took the seat across from her. 

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked. 

"No, Neelix. Please don't try. I've had to ask Harry and Chakotay not to, too. I just want to go on with my life," B'Elanna told him. 

Neelix sighed. "All right. I'm always here for you, though. If you need a shoulder, you know where to find me," he offered. After a moment of silence as he watched her eat, he said, "I know what it feels like to have a relationship of such love end." 

B'Elanna looked at him and smiled sadly. "I know," she said. "Thank you." 

They sat there in companionable silence as B'Elanna finished her meal. Just as she was leaving, she turned back and gave him a quick hug. Embarrassed, she left quickly. 

That night, she had only a few things to say to her log. 

"I feel more at peace tonight than I have since Tom and I broke up. To- morrow I'll find out how my baby is doing. I have three--no, four friends that have already shown me their support, which is a greater comfort than they realize. I'm almost--happy," she said. After a moment of silence, she said softly, "End log." 

To be continued....... 

  
  



	4. Default Chapter Title

Title: Rights and Reconciliation: False Assumptions   
Author: A'Lehsen Paris   
Email: alehsen_paris@yahoo.com   
Rated: PG for adult language   
Summary: Finally, a story completely in Tom's POV. This takes place the day after "Deliberations". Tom's day, how he feels/reacts to things now that he can't share them with B'Elanna, how others on the ship are treating him, and a special little scene in Sickbay where he overhears snatches of a conversation that he's sure is important. However, he only heard bits and pieces, and together none of it makes any sense, leaving him miserable _and_ confused. Finally, an entry in Tom's log. (I'm starting to really like the log entry bits.)   
Archive: Yes, please, but let me know about it!   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and the crew. I'm just writing the story. None of the characters are mine, so I'd just like to say that I'm not trying to infringe on any rights. 

* * * * * 

Tom Paris rolled over and stretched groggily as the computer insistantly repeated, "The time is 0730." It was time for him to get up, but he had slept so badly that he could barely stand the thought of leaving bed. 

A part of his mind which seemed to love annoying him pointed out that if this had been a few weeks ago, there would have been another reason to stay in bed, but not anymore. And whose fault was it, anyway? Wasn't he just as much to blame? 

Rather than face these thoughts, Tom sat up and ran a hand through his golden blond hair. He felt like shit, there was no denying that. 

It was all B'Elanna's fault. Seeing her two days before in the Mess Hall had really shaken him. She had seemed so oblivious to everyone until Harry had walked over to her. Then she had looked over at him, Tom. There had been something in her eyes...Had it been pain? Maybe. She had turned back and started chewing Harry out. He didn't blame her, of course. He had done the same thing when Harry had approached him just minutes before to talk about it. 

What had really caught Tom's attention was the way she looked. It had been the first time since the arguement that he had forced himself to really _look_ at her. She was thinner, pale, with dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in days. Even more confusing, she had been plowing into her casserole so enthusiasticly that he would have sworn it was chocolate if he hadn't heard her asking Neelix for leola-root. And if she was eating so much, why did she look like she had lost weight? 

Those questions had come back to Tom at the briefing yesterday morning. An enstrangement of a couple of weeks couldn't take away years of worrying over someone. He knew that he probably looked just as bad, but she hadn't seemed concerned by that at all. 

That was what upset Tom the most. Every time she had turned those big brown eyes toward him, they had been so very cold. It was a new look for her, and one that she knew how to use surprisingly well. Until yesterday, he would have said that Seven was the one who was more likely to turn into the Ice Queen, not B'Elanna. B'Elanna had always been so hot. Not just passion, but anger. She had always seemed like a vulcano, not a glacier. 

What he couldn't figure out was if it was just an act or not. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to. Whatever she had said to Harry, he had stopped trying to get them back together, so it must have been something like, "Good ridance to bad rubish." 

Tom growled to himself. He hated it when his thoughts turned in that direction. Why couldn't he just give her up? That's what he wanted, wasn't it? 

Tired of examining the same thoughts that he had for the past several weeks, Tom got up and began to get ready for the day. He showered and got dressed, then he ordered a cup of coffee from the replicator to help him wake up. He couldn't help but notice that his rations were piling up now that he wasn't replicating something for B'Elanna practically every other day. This didn't make him happy, though. If anything, it made him more depressed. 

Finally, he left his quarters and made his way to Sickbay. To his sur- prise, the Doctor greeted him curtly. This was an odd change. The Doctor could be a little grumpy when Sickbay was overcrowded or he had too many pro- jects on his hands, but Tom knew that wasn't the case. So what was going on. 

"Ensign Paris, I need you to run some simulations for me. After you are finished, come and see me for more work," the Doctor ordered him. Tom was handed some padds, and he glanced at them as the Doctor went through his office to the lab. 

He's probably in the middle of another medical breakthrough, Tom thought wryly. He settled down to work on the first simulation, and time seemed to fly by. Before he knew it, his shift was over. 

"Do you need anything else, Doc? The Captain said that I could stay here instead of reporting to the Bridge today if there was anything you couldn't handle. There's not much for a pilot to do in this part of space," he com- mented. The Doctor pulled himself away from whatever he had been working on to frown at Tom. 

"If you want to stay, I would appreciate the help. This is taking up most of my time," he said. 

"Sure. What is that?" Tom asked, trying to make sense of the information on the screen. 

"Nothing that should concern you. It's a simple project I began recently. Now get back to work on those simulations, if you're going to stay." 

As Tom went back into the main Sickbay, he wondered a little about the Doctor's evasiveness. It was odd that the Doctor wouldn't take any chance to give him a lecture. 

Halfway into that shift, Tom heard the Doctor say, "Doctor to Torres." 

Tom listened as her voice carried clearly. "Yes?" She sounded annoyed. 

"If you aren't doing anything important, I have the results from your--ahem--project. Could you come down to Sickbay, please?" the Doctor's voice sounded a lot kinder towards B'Elanna than it had towards him. 

"Of course, Doctor. I'm on my way." 

Was it just his imagination, or had B'Elanna sounded excited? Was the Doctor helping her with an engineering problem? He hadn't been aware that there was one. But, then, he didn't really hear a lot from engineering anymore. The engineers were treating him as if he had some kind of contagious plague, and of course he couldn't ask B'Elanna. 

A few minutes later, B'Elanna came into Sickbay. When she saw him sitting there she turned white, then she turned her back on him and called, "Doctor?" 

"In here, B'Elanna," he called back from the lab. B'Elanna walked away briskly. 

Tom strained to hear the conversation, but he could only make out snatches. 

"Well? What...." B'Elanna's voice. 

"Look....normal....results show....growth is in the expected range....I am worried about....maybe surgery...." 

"Let's....natural....don't want....know....What....it?....or....?" 

"It's...." 

"Oh....When....?" 

"....time....shorter than you thought....only four and a half months left....don't worry....can make sure it's painless....want." 

"No....do this right....So....tell soon....they'll know." 

"Yes....showing soon....suspect....rest and less work. If....then I'll see the Captain about...." 

"Fine....in a few days....keep....promise?" 

"Of course....confidentiality....when you....to know, you can tell...." 

"I wish....know. I don't....to. I....deal with...._and_ that...." 

"....deserves to...." 

"Maybe....not so sure....just don't let....find anything, all right?" 

"Yes. You should go get something to eat now," the Doctor said as they came into his office. 

"I will. I'm starting to really enjoy leola-root now!" B'Elanna said with a laugh. She smiled tiredly at the Doctor. "Thanks, Doc." 

"You're welcome. Be careful," the Doctor said. B'Elanna nodded and left, not even bothering to glance at Tom. 

Tom was very confused. What was going on with B'Elanna? That had sounded personal. Was she sick? Was that why she looked the way she did, why she wasn't gaining any weight? 

The Doctor glanced at him and frowned. Tom pretended to turn his atten- tion back to the simulation he was working on. He kept replaying the parts of the conversation he had overheard, and they refused to make any sense. Why did she have four and a half months left? Left to do what? 

Then, a sudden thought almost made him drop the tube in his hand. Could B'Elanna be dying? That possibility made his knees go weak. Even though he was still angry with her, he couldn't stand the thought of her dying. And if it was a slow death, from some kind of disease....The Doctor had said something about surgery. Tom hoped that B'Elanna was considering it. He wasn't ready to forgive her, but he knew that he wasn't ready to loose her completely. Not yet. 

Tom finished that shift in a daze. He noticed the Doctor giving him a strange look, but he could barely pay attention. His mind was focused on his worries about B'Elanna. 

Tom decided to go straight to his quarters. He didn't have much of an appetite that night. Once he was there, he sat down in a chair and stared out at the passing stars. What had he done? 

"Computer, begin personal log," he said on an impulse. "I don't know if I'm right, but I heard a conversation in Sickbay that makes me think that B'Elanna may be seriously ill. It seems so crazy to think about it. I never would have thought that *she* might be the first of us to really die," he said. 

"I can't help but wonder if I made a mistake, breaking it off so suddenly. Maybe I should have tried to work things out." He remembered the hard words B'Elanna had flung after him that night, the night that seemed to have been years instead of weeks ago. "Am I really like my father?" He shuddered. "Damn, I never wanted to end up like the Old Man, but I think I am. I've been feeling so distant towards everyone for months. I've been hard on everyone, unforgiving..." 

"Hell, I _am_ getting to be more like him. I hate it! I just want to be me. That's all I've ever wanted. I want to be with B'Elanna, too. I should never have blown up like that," he admitted to himself. 

He thought about that for a few minutes, brooding silently. "Hell, now that I realize what an ass I've been, it's probably too late. She's never going to forgive me. I should have just accepted her apology from the first instead of putting us both through this. Damn, I've probably ruined it all!" 

This managed to make him more miserable than he had been these last few weeks. He had been so stupid.... 

Something snapped inside him. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was the common sense he had seemed to lack finally making itself known. Whatever it was, it made him see that he had two choices. Back down without saying a word, or fight for what he wanted. 

In the end, it was such a simple choice. "I'll get her back. I'll get her back if it's the last thing I do. I'll help her get through this, and I'll stay with her. I need her," he said. Somehow, it made him feel so much freer to say that. 

"Now, I just have to convince her that I'll stick around this time," he added to himself. That might be hard, but he was willing to try until he won her back. No matter how long it took. 

With that resolved, he decided that he really could use some dinner after all, and he left his quarters and headed for the Mess Hall. 

To be continued..... 

  
  



	5. Default Chapter Title

Title: Rights and Reconciliation: Love Is All We Need   
Author: A'Lehsen Paris   
Email: alehsen_paris@yahoo.com   
Rated: PG for adult language   
Summary: B'Elanna's POV. B'Elanna's reaction to the Doctor's results, then after a good night's sleep, B'Elanna goes to breakfast. After breakfast, B'Elanna goes to her quarters because she forgot a report, and there's--guess who. No, I won't make you guess. It's Tom! He asks her if they can talk, and on the story goes from there.   
Archive: Hey, why not? Just let me know, 'kay?   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and the crew. I'm just writing the story. None of the characters are mine, so I'd just like to say that I'm not trying to infringe on any rights. 

* * * * * 

B'Elanna laid back against her pillows and sighed. She was so very happy! The Doctor had told her earlier that everything was going very well. There was no indications that the baby would be anything other than well- formed and healthy. And it would be a boy! A little boy who might grow up to be an engineer, just like his mother. She wouldn't force it on him, of course. But she could dream..... 

That night she did dream, of a young boy with dark hair and blue eyes and his father's smile. When she woke up, B'Elanna remembered the dream, and she also remembered that Tom had been there, too, and they had been a family. 

B'Elanna was determined not to get depressed, and she was equally determined to stop thinking about Tom so much. Even if it sometimes seemed like she couldn't help herself, she had to, for the sake of her sanity. 

* * * * * 

B'Elanna got to the Mess Hall relatively early for breakfast. There were only a few crewmembers there, and they studiously avoided looking at her. She knew why, of course. The rumor mill was still abuzz with the news of the break up, even then, weeks later. _Voyager_ wasn't the largest ship, so when something happened it was news for months. 

She sighed and went to find Neelix. He was cooking something that she was sure would normally have revolted her, but which smelled delicious at the moment. 

"Hello, Neelix," she said just loudly enough to be heard over the sizzling of--whatever it was. 

Neelix turned and beamed at her. "B'Elanna! Good morning! Did you sleep well last night?" he asked. 

"Yes, I did, actually," she said with an answering smile. "What are you making? It smells wonderful," she said as she leaned over the counter to get a better look. 

"It's going to be dinner. It's a dish called _klesh-ta_," he said. "It has to cook for six hours, first frying, then baking. A very complicated recipe." 

"I'm sure it is. So, what's on the menu for me today?" B'Elanna changed the subject. Her stomach was informing her that it wanted food, and it wanted it _right now_! 

"Well, I thought I'd mix some of what the Doctor recommended, for a little variety, you know," he said. 

"Whatever you want, as long as you make it fast. I feel as if I haven't eaten in days!" she said. 

"With the way you ate last night, I'm surprised! You must have gained at least a few kilos from all of that," Neelix said bluntly as he prepared her breakfast. 

"I might have, but it won't show for a while, thankfully," she said casually. B'Elanna knew that Neelix was curious about how little she had gained compared to how much she had been eating lately. She thought wryly to herself that it would show too soon for her liking, but didn't mention that out loud. 

"Here you go. Enjoy!" Neelix said. He passed her a plate of something green and purple. She didn't ask any questions, she just took it and the cup of juice he offered and found a nice quiet seat in a corner. 

B'Elanna read a book she had found on parenting in the computer's data- base as she ate. It was very informative, written almost ten years ago by a leading counselor in Starfleet. 

Her food seemed to vanish almost instantly, although she had read five pages by the time she was finished. She reluctantly stopped reading and went to put her plate and cup in the recycler. 

"Goodbye, Neelix," she called as she headed for the door. 

"Goodbye, B'Elanna. I'll see you at luch!" he said cheerfully. 

B'Elanna was halfway to Engineering when she remembered the report on the warp core she was supposed to give to Chakotay that morning. Grumbling a little at her own forgetfulness, she made her way back to her quarters. 

When B'Elanna reached her corridor, she thought she smelled...no, it was impossible. Only Tom wore that cologne, and he had made a point of not being anywhere near her until yesterday in Sickbay, which he'd had no control over. 

B'Elanna turned the corner and stopped. He was there, lounging against her doorway as if he belonged there. Worse, he had seen her, so she couldn't back down now. Dammit, she thought. Why today? 

She irritably stalked toward him, wishing that she could wipe that innocent look off of his face and knowing that she wouldn't. 

"Tom, what are doing here?" she asked curtly. She brushed past him and entered her code. 

"B'Elanna, I want to talk," Tom said. 

"It's a little late for that, isn't it? I thought you said all you wanted to me weeks ago," she answered. She nearly swore when he barged in after her. 

"Look, Tom, I don't have time for this. I have to get a report to Chakotay ASAP, then I have to be in Engineering. Maybe we can talk later, okay?" she asked as she went over to her desk and rumaged through the four padds laying there until she found the one with the report she had been looking for. She put the padd she had been reading in the Mess Hall down, and turned to face him. 

"B'Elanna, I really don't care. I _need_ to talk to you," he said in a voice that said he meant to get his way. In an odd contrast, his eyes showed a vulnerability that she could hardly believe in. 

"Why now, Tom? I'm trying to get my life back to a level as close to normal as possible, and I've almost succeeded. Why do we need to talk now?" she asked him angrily. 

"Because I realize what an ass I've been. Please, B'Elanna, hear me out," he pleaded. He reached for her hand and she backed away, afraid of what his touch would do to her. 

"You have five minutes," B'Elanna heard herself say. It wasn't what she had meant to say. She had thought that she didn't want anything more to do with him, but somehow, she had been wrong. 

"Can we at least sit down?" he asked. 

"All right," she said warily. They sat down on the couch, and B'Elanna couldn't help but remember another time when he had talked to her like this, two years before, the day she had admitted her love for him. The memory made her feel like a fool right then. 

"B'Elanna, I was hurt when I found out how you lied about my father's message. I got angry, and I acted like a fool. You were right when you said that I was acting just like my father. I hate to admit it, but you were right," he said earnestly. 

B'Elanna didn't believe what she was hearing. "Tom, what made you come to this miraculous decision?" she asked him sarcastically. 

Tom sighed. "A lot of things. Mostly, because I've been miserable without you. I can't stop thinking about you, B'Elanna. I still love you," he admitted. 

"But you don't trust me," she stated. 

"Dammit, I'm never going to be able to live that one down, am I? Listen, B'Elanna, I know I said that, but it was just my anger talking. I do trust you. I'd trust you with my life," he said. B'Elanna read the conviction in his eyes. "Can you give us another chance?" 

B'Elanna sighed. "I don't know. You really hurt me, Tom. What I did... maybe it wasn't right, but I hated to see you hurt. Maybe I didn't have the right to protect you from that, but I did anyway. If you can't forgive me for that....well, then it's hopeless, isn't it?" She had to make him under- stand. 

"I do forgive you. I know that you were trying to help. But if we are going to try again, it's going to have to be on an equal basis. We'll have to share everything. No big secrets like that. Can we?" Tom held out his hand. 

B'Elanna looked into his eyes. This was what she wanted, she knew that as well as she knew that she'd always be an engineer. She placed her hand in his. "We can try," she said with a small smile. This wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be. 

Tom stood up and pulled her into his arms. He didn't kiss her, he just held her so tightly that she could hardly draw a breath. She hugged him back, relieved that it was over. Almost, a little voice inside her whispered, and it was right. She still had to tell him about the baby. 

B'Elanna pulled back a little. "I really do have to go now," she said reluctantly. 

Tom nodded. "All right." He let her go. 

"There's something else I have to tell you, but I don't have time. When does your next shift end?" she asked as they walked to the door. 

"2400. I get night shift tonight," Tom said with a grimace. 

"Meet me for breakfast?" she asked. 

"Sure. 0700 sound good?" he suggested. 

"Yes. We can eat here," she added. They exited her quarters, and Tom stopped her from turning with a hand on her arm. 

"B'Elanna, I love you," he said quietly. 

"Oh, Tom." She couldn't manage anything else. It was the first time he had actually said the words, and she was sure that she could never be happier than she was at that moment. 

Tom leaned down and kissed B'Elanna gently. It was no more than a brush of his lips, but to her it meant everything. He drew back and smiled at her. 

"I love you," she said. They exchanged another smile and a quick kiss, and then turned and walked in seperate directions. He was on his way to his quarters, and she had to get the report to Chakotay. 

B'Elanna got onto the turbolift and said, "Deck Two." She found that she was smiling, and the realization made her smile even more. It was a wonderful day, and she had the feeling that the next day would be even better. 

To be continued.... 

  
  



	6. Default Chapter Title

Title: Rights & Reconciliation: A Sense of Completion   
Author: A'Lehsen Paris   
Email: alehsen_paris@yahoo.com   
Rated: PG for adult language   
Summary: The night after "Love Is All We Need". _Voyager_ finds a planet with much needed deposits of dilithium crystals. Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry are sent down to collect them. While on the planet, B'Elanna is injured and transported to Sickbay. There, while Tom is assisting the Doctor, he finds out about B'Elanna's pregnancy. His reaction I'll let you discover for your- self. This story is in B'Elanna's POV, then Tom's, then B'Elanna's yet again.   
Archive: Of course. Just let me know about it. And don't plaguerize!   
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and the crew. I just write the better stories. So don't get me for this, okay? (cowers fearfully in a corner) 

* * * * * 

B'Elanna glanced at the chronometer. One more hour to go, and then she would be having breakfast with Tom for the first time in weeks. It felt good, to know that they were going to survive what had been their worst fight to date. It would be even better when she told him of the baby. 

Since she was in her quarters, B'Elanna felt safe to pat her belly and say to the small life growing inside, "You'll have both parents, sweetheart. I promise." Just then, B'Elanna felt a flutter. Could it be...? Yes, there was another one! The baby was moving! 

B'Elanna's eyes stung with unshed tears. She smiled and sat back into the cushions of the couch. It was definitely a wonderful day. 

Janeway's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Janeway to Torres." 

B'Elanna growled with irritation. Janeway would never call her when she was off-duty unless something had happened. At least it wasn't another battle. She would have felt any hits by now. 

"Torres here, Captain," she responded reluctantly. She wasn't actually wearing her combadge, since she preferred not to wear her full unifor while relaxing thse days. It didn't matter, though. It would still pick up her voice. 

"B'Elanna, we've located a planet with an unusually high amount of dilithium crystals just beneath the surface. I want you to go down with the away team to find the most viable sites for mining. You will be using the _Delta Flyer_," Janeway said. It was clearly an order, not a request. 

"Aye, Captain," B'Elanna acquiesced. 

"Go to the shuttlebay," Janeway told her. "The rest of the team will meet you there." 

"Aye, Captain," B'Elanna said again. "I'm on my way," she added as she slipped her uniform jacket back on. "Torres out." 

B'Elanna took her time getting to the shuttlebay. Since this was more of a survey mission than anything else, she really didn't have to hurry if she didn't want to. 

When she entered the shuttlebay, she almost wasn't surprised to see Tom and Harry waiting for her inside the _Delta Flyer_. "Are we it?" she asked as she sat down in the copilot's chair. She was much more suited to that than Harry, who would be doing the actual scanning. 

"Well, not exactly. The Captain wants us to do the southern hemisphere of the planet, and another team already left to survey the northern hemisphere," Harry said. 

Tom guided the shuttle out of the bay and away from _Voyager_. They had gone about a hundred kilometers when Tom said casually, "B'Elanna, is it true that you've actually begun to _like_ what Neelix cooks?" 

B'Elanna refused to blush. "It's not bad. I think I'm getting used to it," she answered. 

"The only person I've ever known who enjoyed Neelix's cooking was Kes," Tom said with a grin. 

"That's not true," Harry protested. B'Elanna could hear the relief under the amusement in his voice. "Sam Wildman liked it for a while, when she was pregnant with Naomii," he added. 

"It's probably just that Humans can't handle the full adventure of Neelix's cooking," B'Elanna said, desperately trying to steer the conversation away from pregnancy. It was not the right time to tell Tom. "Naomii loves it, and she must have given Sam some kind of immunity to it for a while," she said with a grin of her own. 

"That might be it," Tom agreed. He paid closer attention to the helm because they were about to enter the planet's atmosphere. 

"This is nice, isn't it?" he asked quietly so that Harry wouldn't overhear. 

B'Elanna knew that he meant the joking around, the sense of fun that had been missing during their separation. "Yeah," she admitted softly. "It's alot better." 

The _Flyer_ didn't give Tom much trouble as he brought it to a glide fifty kilometers over a chain of mountains. "Is this a good height for scanning, Harry?" he asked over his shoulder. 

"Sure," Harry replied. "I'm trying to locate the richest deposits now... I've got five. I can't tell if they're near enough to the surface, though," he added with a frown. "It must be something in the soil that's partially blocking the scans. Damn." 

B'Elanna got up and stood beside him. "Try adjusting the scanner by .3 percent...now, make the beam tighter...there," she said as she helped him make the necessary adjustments to the equipment. "That should do it," she said. 

Harry smiled. "Yep. Three of the five are close enough that we can get to them without any trouble," he said happily. B'Elanna patted his shoulder in encouragement. 

She thought of something. "Harry, check to make sure that you aren't picking up echoes. If something is distorting the scans, it might be throwing out echoes, too," she instructed him. 

He nodded. "Another sweep, Tom?" he asked. 

"Sure thing," Tom said. He turned the *Flyer* around and made another pass of the mountain system. 

"Thanks," Harry said absently. He looked at B'Elanna. "One of them was throwing off an echo. It's about fifteen kilometers down, much too deep. Good thinking," he complimented her. 

"Thanks, I try," she said as she went to take her seat. A sudden jolt sent her to the ground. Her head hit something sharp, and then the world went black. 

* * * * * 

Tom swore as a storm came up with no warning. The unexpectedness of it had caught him off guard, and the _Flyer_ was jostled sharply. Behind him, he heard Harry gasp. He turned around. 

"B'Elanna!" he shouted. "Harry, take the helm," he ordered. It didn't matter to him that he was the same rank as Harry now. Harry would listen to him. 

Tom knelt beside B'Elanna and gently touched the spot at the back of her head where blood was pooling. "Dammit. Harry, get us back to *Voyager* now!" he yelled. 

"I am," Harry said. Tom could tell that he was trying to remain calm as he struggled to get the _Flyer_ through the heart of the storm. 

Tom gather B'Elanna into his arms, trying to be careful of her injury. "Harry, transport us to Sickbay as soon as we're within range, and then inform the Captain," he said hoarsely. He saw his friend nod. 

"I'm guessing you two worked out your problems," Harry commented. 

"Yeah, we did," Tom said. He didn't tell Harry that he knew B'Elanna was holding back something. That didn't really matter much to him at that moment. 

Dammit, he thought. I wish we had never found that damn planet. If we hadn't, I'd probably know what's wrong with B'Elanna by now. That frustrated him almost as badly as B'Elanna's wound. 

"We're within transporter range--now," Harry said. 

The _Flyer_'s cabin shimmered around Tom, to be replaced the next instant by Sickbay. The Doctor came rushing over to him. 

"What happened?" he asked as Tom laid B'Elanna on the nearest biobed. 

"A storm caught me by surprise as we were doing a survey of the planet. B'Elanna had been helping Harry, and was about to take her seat again when it happened. She hit her head pretty badly," Tom said as he began to help the Doctor. 

"It's not as bad as it looks," the Doctor said. Tom detected relief in his voice, and was a little curious about it. Not that he wasn't happy that B'Elanna wasn't seriously injured, but he hadn't expected it from the Doctor. 

"Doc, is there something you aren't telling me?" Tom asked suspiciously as he watched the Doctor clean the area around the wound and then use the dermal regenerator on it. It closed perfectly. 

The Doctor glanced at him and frowned. "Are you and B'Elanna still fighting?" he asked. 

"Uh...no," Tom said. He was confused by the change in subjects. 

The Doctor sighed. "I suppose that if I don't tell you directly that I won't be breaking my promise, and she can't be angry with me then," he said almost to himself. 

"Doc, what the hell are you talking about?" Tom asked. He was starting to get angry. He wanted some answers! 

The Doctor handed him a medical tricorder. "Scan her, and tell me what you find," he instructed. 

Tom sighed in frustration and did as he was told. The results that showed up on the tricorder...He felt his face go pale and his eyes widen. It was impossible...but a second scan confirmed it. B'Elanna was pregnant! So that's what that meeting had been about a few days before...she wasn't dying after all! 

He felt dizzy, and knew he probably looked it when the Doctor reached over to support him. "She's pregnant!" he managed to gasp out. 

The Doctor nodded but still didn't say anything. Finally, once Tom was sure he could talk right, he said, "How far along? What is it? How long have you known about this?" 

The Doctor shook his head. "I'll let her answer the first two questions when she wakes up. As for the latter, she came to me a few days ago and re- quested a check-up. That was the first time I knew anything about it," he said quietly. He walked into his office. 

Tom wasn't sure how to react at first. He thought about being angry with her for not telling him, and then he decided that that would be stupid. They had barely said ten words to each other until the day before, and then she had obviously planned on telling him at breakfast. It wasn't her fault that the discovery of the dilithium crystals had kept that from happening. 

The next emotion he could recognize was joy. He was going to be a father! He and B'Elanna would have a family! 

He thought for a moment about proposing to her as soon as she woke up, but decided that she'd probably take it the wrong way. No, he knew that she would _definitely_ take it the wrong way. So he'd wait a few weeks, give them both a chance to get comfortable again. 

Tom sat down on the opposite biobed to wait. He thought absently that it would be worth the wait, and he didn't just mean B'Elanna's waking up. 

* * * * * 

B'Elanna felt as if she had been dragged through an ion storm without any protection. Her head ached like hell, and she fancied that she could feel the pulse of the warp core beneath her, and that her head was pulsing in the same rhythm. 

She opened one eye slowly, knowing somehow that it would be much too bright for her comfort when she did. 

Tom was sitting across from her, his eyes watching her for any sign of conciousness, she knew. She tried to smile a little, but even that hurt. 

"Hello," she rasped. Her throat felt dry. "Can I have something to drink?" she asked. 

Tom nodded. She watched him walk over to the replicator and order some a cup of water. He brought it back to her. He helped her sit up a little and held the cup while she took a few sips. He gently lowered her back onto what she know realized was a biobed. She was in Sickbay. 

"What happened?" B'Elanna asked. 

"A storm hit us. You were the only one hurt," Tom told her. He reached down and brushed a strand of her hair out of her eyes. "It wasn't too bad, just a cut on the back of your head. The impact is what knocked you out." 

B'Elanna lifted a hand and gingerly felt the back of her head. The cut was gone, but she could still feel the bruise, and she still felt like hell. "Can I have something for the pain?" she asked with a grimace. 

Tom frowned. "It still hurts?" he asked. He picked up a tricorder that had being laying beside her. He scanned her head. "No damage to the brain. That's good. I'll ask the Doctor about a painkiller," he said. He gave her a small smile. "You had me scared for a minute in the _Flyer_, 'Lanna," he told her. 

She smiled back. "Trust me, I'll try not to do that again," she said. 

"Doc," she heard him say. "B'Elanna's asking for something to dull the pain." 

"Actually, I'm asking for something to get rid of the pain completely," B'Elanna corrected as the Doctor came back in. 

"I'll see what I can do," he said. A minute or so later, he pressed a hypospray to her neck, and the pain disappeared. 

"Thanks," she said with a grateful smile. 

After a glance first at her, then at Tom, the Doctor said, "I'll leave you two alone." 

B'Elanna looked at Tom. What was going on? "Is something wrong?" she asked him. 

Tom shook his head. "I scanned you while you were unconscious," he said. He came over and took her hand. "I'm assuming you were going to tell me about the baby at breakfast." His voice was so calm. She looked into his eyes, almost afraid of what she would find. The happiness glowing in those bright blue depths made her weak with relief. 

B'Elanna nodded. "I didn't tell you before because....well...." she took a deep breath. "I realized it the day after our fight. I didn't really want to tell anyone then, so I kept it a secret. I finally came to the Doctor a few days ago, because I wanted to make sure everything was all right," she confessed. The acceptance in his eyes made her want to sing. 

"Well?" he asked. When she frowned a little, he elaborated. "What did you find out?" 

"In four and a half months, we are going to have a healthy little boy," B'Elanna told him. 

Tom surprised her by reaching down and hugging her fiercely. She returned the hug, not sure what to make of it. "Tom?" she asked softly. 

He gazed down at her eyes, and she was again surprised by the vulnerable look in the blue depths. "I heard parts of your conversation with the Doc the other day," he admitted. "Not enough to make any sense, but enough to worry me. I came to the mistaken conclusion that you might be dying--that was from the 'you have four and a half months left' part--and I realized how much you meant to me. I never want to loose you, B'Elanna," he said. 

She reached up and pulled his lips down to hers. "You won't," she whispered as their mouths met in a kiss full of hope and promises. 

The End 

  
  



End file.
